Every time I think you,
I feel utterly useless.
Every time I think of you,
I feel totally unwanted.
All I ever wanted from you, was to be your first thought,
your first love,
your first friend.
All I ever wanted from you was your heart.
I got nothing.
Second to everything
I finally realized that we were long since done.
Our friendship is in jeopardy.
As I put you first to everyone, even my pets and friends.
Something with you, I have never been.
I have sat here for a long time and cried,
to the point of dehydration.
I have tried to get over loving you,
even though you did with me so long ago.
I need to replace the void you caused,
but I have no one to turn to you know.
You were it.
You were always it.
You are not dead,
but my mourning for your undivided attention and love,
must come to an absolute end.
I pray to learn how,
January 11, 2001