My Heart is Aching, If Only in the Past

My heart is breaking and aching.

Torn apart, from the start.

Never having a fair chance

to succeed,

to live,

to celebrate and prance.

There's pressure in my chest.

My throat choking on the pain.

Never knowing if I'll be happy again.

I was told that I look very smart,

if so,

why am I falling apart?

She died!

He died!

Heck, they all died, and left me alive!

What is the reason?

I don't want to die,

it's too soon,

but I'm tired I tell you!

Tired of being blue.

Boo hoo!

Boo hoo!

Oh where are you?

Jay, you were strong and were admired for it.

Me, poor me, that which they will never see.

Our family has beaten me down,

and by the community who only sees what they are not,

has given that family a crown.

They tell each other how well they've done,

but they never say it to me.

Never a one.

I want a family, but you died.

I'm weak!

I'm sick!

I got nothing in me!

I just want to be reborn,

to live my life only in memory.

Copyright - Michelle January, 2000