"Identity Confusion"

Iím so confused.

A complex life gets more complicated.

I knew who I loved once upon a time,

now, after that day she stroked my hair and looked into my eyes,

I cry.

My body tingled in a way I have never known.

Her broad smile, gleaming teeth and glowing eyes,

pulled me into her arms.

She didnít know it.

My heart wants her to know I love her,

my family not knowing, holds me at bay.

I pretend everyday to have feelings for a man,

and I do.

I have both desires.

My heart tells be to face the truth,

Society tells me to be quiet.

I want to love, but Iím afraid.

Who am I to love?

Who can I accept?

Could it possibly be myself?

A body of confusion.


I remember her sensual lips,

that I just wanted to kiss.

I also remember his,

full, yet empty.


I imagine making love to her.

How would it feel?

Would my heart explode from the intense flames,

or would I die fearing I would be discovered.

Uncovered.

Vulnerable.

Harassed.

Again unloved

Again unwanted

Again alone.


Copyright - Michelle Poet March, 2002

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