I’m so confused.
A complex life gets more complicated.
I knew who I loved once upon a time,
now, after that day she stroked my hair and looked into my eyes,
I cry.
My body tingled in a way I have never known.
Her broad smile, gleaming teeth and glowing eyes,
pulled me into her arms.
She didn’t know it.
My heart wants her to know I love her,
my family not knowing, holds me at bay.
I pretend everyday to have feelings for a man,
and I do.
I have both desires.
My heart tells be to face the truth,
Society tells me to be quiet.
I want to love, but I’m afraid.
Who am I to love?
Who can I accept?
Could it possibly be myself?
A body of confusion.
I remember her sensual lips,
that I just wanted to kiss.
I also remember his,
full, yet empty.
I imagine making love to her.
How would it feel?
Would my heart explode from the intense flames,
or would I die fearing I would be discovered.
Uncovered.
Vulnerable.
Harassed.
Again unloved
Again unwanted
Again alone.
Copyright - Michelle Poet March, 2002